so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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