How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
