What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
