There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
