I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
