just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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