Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize