Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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