I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
