Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
