I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
