Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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