What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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