Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
