I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
