Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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