Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
