Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
