Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
