Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
