coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
