i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
