I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
