Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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