I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
