Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
