The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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