I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
