Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
