The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
