Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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