im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
