Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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