I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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