im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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