I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
