ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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