So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
