So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
