hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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