Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
