respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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