You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
