I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
