hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize