I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
