He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
