Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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