Please, let me fuck your mom
time to smoke my breakfast
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
