bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
