thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
