Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
