dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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