dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
