well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I only lived at night.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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