I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
