i think i have two assholes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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