Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
